


Anthem of the Angles

by pairatime



Category: Shelter (2007)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 15:47:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4672313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pairatime/pseuds/pairatime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes there is no happily ever after</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Happily Ever After (Team Angst), The name came from the _Breaking Benjamin_ song of the same name. I may have listened to it a few time as I wrote this.

_I’m sorry…I-I just….miss them so much_

Later Gabe wouldn’t be able to say how he knew it, he just did. Some part of him just _knew_ what Zach wasn’t saying. What he meant.

It was that part of him that bolted for the door letting his drink fall from his grasp. He never even heard the glass shatter on the bar floor for he was already scrabbling to get into his car, to get to Zach before it was too late.

***

_*Zach look out* lights, metal twisting, pain in his legs, Shaun’s eyes_

He could only just hear the thud of the cell phone falling behind him over the rush of his blood, the echo of his own breathing. Every time he closed his eyes it was all he could see, Cody, Shaun, the pain and fear…

He forced himself to turn around one last time. Trying to face himself in the mirror. But even after turning to couldn’t look up. He just stared at his hands, white knuckling as he gripped the cool porcelain. Watching the drops of water slowly travel down to the shiny drain. Dripping away. Lost forever down the shiny drain…just like Shaun and Cody.

Steeling himself he slowly looked up. And then he couldn’t look away. The butterfly stitching above his left eye, the dark marks along his jaw, still soft and painful to the touch, even to the breeze. He was too pale, he couldn’t be this pale after just a week and a half but…it was just another sign he shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t have left them.

It was the ring of the phone that finally forced him to look away. He heard it from the plastic trashcan as he slowly walked over to the tub that had been slowly filling with hot water and now was almost full.

***

“Pick up the fucking phone Zach. Don’t do this…fuck!” Gabe yelled one last time before throwing the phone at the passenger side window not turning to see if the crack the follows is from the phone or the window as he makes a left through a red light. Slamming on his horn in response to the others. He just pushed the pedal down a little bit more, grinding it into the mats while cursing his brother, god and Zach.

***

It’s warm. The first time he really feels warm since that night. That night was anything but warm. It was cold and wet and…he just closes his eyes as he let himself sink into the water. Remembering the last time that he and Shaun had been in here. The way his lover had held him…the way he’d never hold him again.

The metal was warm in his fingers as he picks it up to looks at it. So short, so simple, so easy. He lays it next to his wrist and presses. He can feel it biting into his skin then he sees pink as the water starts to change. Growing darker as he pulls the blade toward him as he forces down the pain.

***

“ZACH,” Gabe is yelling and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care if he wakes the hold building.

He ignores the old women that sticks her head out to glare at him as he fumbling with his keys trying to open the door.

At last he’s in and he’s yelling as loud as he can as he runs from room to room trying to find him. But it’s the bathroom door that he can’t open that scares Gabe as he pounds on it. Kicking and screaming until he slams it with his shoulder, breaking it, sending slivers of wood across the room.

Not that Gabe cares, all he cares about is pulling Zach’s all too white body from the dark crimson water.

Not that Gabe cares, nothing matters other than pulling Zach’s sickly white body from the pale crimson water.

***

He’s just so tried. So easy to just sleep

_So where do you want to go now, huh buddy?” Shaun asks Cody as he turned to look at the kid in the back seat._

_“Ice cream, Ice cream,” Cody cheers._

_“Well you heard him babe,” Shaun smiles as he looked over at Zach. “I know this place on 28th that has the best cones.”_

_“Why is it you always know the best places,” Zach asked with a smile as Shaun just grinned._

_“Well ZACH_

He blinks as he hears his name and banging, but just wanting to get back to that moment, back to Shaun and Cody.

_You’ve got some mint on your cheek.”_

_“With all this rain I’m lucky I haven’t dropped the cone,” Zach just smiles back, “Want to clean it for me?” he adds with a grin.”_

_“I think I could do that,” Shaun answers as he leans over his tongue just touching Zach’s face_

“Zach, God please don’t be, Zach.”

He hears yelling, his name but he’s just so tired he just wants to sleep.

***

It’s raining.

It’s raining the day that Gabe has to watch his best friend join his brother and their son in all but name in the ground.

He made it through the service without crying. He made it all the way to the grave. He even made it until almost everyone had left. It was just him and Tori left and he just couldn’t take it any more. 

He dropped to his knees before the grey stone and slammed his fist into the ground yelling that it wasn’t fair, wasn’t right. He shouldn’t have to bury them. It just wasn’t right he yelled at the world.

Then he felt Tori kneeling beside him pulling him into a hug and he grabbed into her while he felt the water run down his face.


	2. Last Angel of Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was the goof off younger brother, the best bud that loosened up his to serious bro, the cool uncle that took his nephew skating then hopped him up on sugar before dropping him off back home. But…what if he wasn’t anymore?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiss (Team Angst), It started with Gabe kissing snow and it went from there.

Snow went flying everywhere as the green and blue clad skater plowed into the mound.

Gabe pushed himself up, balancing himself before bushing off all the snow for the third time in the last hour. He kicked off, gliding over ice slowly making his way around the frozen pond a couple of times before throwing himself into another spin.

Once more he missed his landing and tumbled in the snow. This time he just laid there, staring up at the charcoal gray clouds and the slowly falling flakes of snow, kicking the ground in frustration at being unable to do what should be a simple maneuver.

Even Cody had been able to- Gage pushed the though away, rolling over and pushing himself up and making his way to the deck overhanging the lake’s edge. He sat down on the frost coated wood and unstrapped his skates before heading into the mountain cabin.

With a flick he turned on the stove while tossing his skates, leaving them where they landed in a heap, then grabbed the milk from the refrigerator and poured it into a pan, reaching for a cup he dumped the cocoa mix into the mug just as his phone beeped from it’s spot on the counter, alerting him to a voice mail.

 

Flipping it open Gabe connected with his mailbox and pressed one to play the message while he stirred the simmering milk.

_”Gabe, please answer, call me back, something,”_ Tori’s voice pleaded over the voice massage, _”You’re starting to worry us. Your mom just called me, it’s her first Christmas with only one son and you didn’t show. No one’s heard from you in over two days…please Gabe…after Zach…just text someone. Let us know your okay…we can’t lose-_

The message cut off as Gabe pressed the seven key, deleting Tori’s latest message. Just like he had done with the dozen other messages he’d gotten since he arrived at the cabin the morning of Christmas Eve, snapping his phone shut and dropping it back on the counter after the task was done.

Gabe returned to his hot chocolate, pouring the warm milk into his cup before mixing it slowly, then he reached for the bag of mini-marshmallow pulling out a small handful he dropped most of them into the cup.

One of the few that remained in his hand was pop up into the air where Gabe caught it with his mouth. He repeated it with the next marshmallow, popping it high into the air, catching it squarely with his tongue he grinned around his open mouth as he spun toward the Living room, Cody’s name dying in his throat at the sight of the barren room.

He choked down the marshmallow, grabbing the counter to steady himself, letting the remaining ones fall from his hand.

An unknown time later his eyes shot back open at the sound of his phone ringing, picked up but ignored after spotting Aaron’s name. He reached for his now cold mug of cocoa but froze then he saw which mug he’s grabbed earlier.

Cody’s favorite shade of red with the word Uncle stamped all over it in every style, font and color imaginable, it and another just like it had been a gift from Cody during their second Christmas up here, their second Christmas as a family.

Gabe felt himself sliding down the cabinet, his knees giving out, as a sob ripped it way from his chest. His body shook as he held himself no longer able to hold it back as the last bit of the Sun’s ambient faded, leaving him in darkness until his phone rang again, casting it’s blue glow over Gabe’s tear stained cheeks.

He stared at Tori’s name as it rang one, twice, then he wedged his thumb between the two halves. 

It rang again then went silent.

“Tor?”


End file.
